Emotional Hijacking: What It Is and How to Manage It
Have you ever felt so overwhelmed by emotions that you reacted in a way you later regretted? Perhaps you lashed out at a loved one, made an impulsive decision, or shut down completely. If so, you've experienced emotional hijacking. In a recent podcast episode, I had the pleasure of interviewing Dr. Stephanie Catella, an expert on emotional intelligence. We explored what emotional hijacking is, how it affects our lives, and most importantly, how to manage it effectively.
What is Emotional Hijacking?
As Dr. Catella explains, "Emotional hijacking occurs when a strong emotion feels so intense that it overwhelms us, consuming our mental capacity. When we're in that place of being emotionally hijacked, our judgment is clouded." During an emotional hijack, the amygdala—the part of the brain responsible for emotional processing—overtakes the prefrontal cortex, which manages logical thinking and decision-making. This neural takeover leads to a 'fight, flight, or freeze' response that can derail our ability to think clearly. Studies in neuroscience confirm that the amygdala can activate within milliseconds, faster than the conscious mind can react, often leaving us at the mercy of our immediate emotions.
The Impact of Emotional Hijacking
Emotional hijacking can have significant consequences in our personal and professional lives. It can lead to damaged relationships, impulsive decisions, decreased productivity, and increased stress and anxiety. Stephanie notes, "When we act on those intense emotional impulses, we tend to make choices that we might later regret or that aren’t as skillful."
How to Manage Emotional Hijacking
Understanding the powerful influence of the amygdala and the limitations of the prefrontal cortex during these intense moments is crucial. With this knowledge, we can better prepare ourselves to handle emotional spikes effectively.
- Recognize the signs: Tune into your body and notice when you start to feel overwhelmed, anxious, or angry. Identifying the early warning signs can help you intervene before a full-blown hijack occurs.
- Practice mindfulness: "The first place to really start to develop emotional intelligence would actually be to be present and pause and stay with your emotions," Stephanie recommends. By practicing mindfulness regularly, you create a space between your emotions and your reactions, allowing you to respond more intentionally.
- Surf the wave of emotion: "If you imagine what a wave looks like, a wave is going to come, it's going to reach a peak, and then it's going to crest and fall, and it's just going to keep doing that. And we can actually surf our emotions just like we might surf a wave," explains Stephanie. Rather than trying to suppress or avoid intense emotions, allow yourself to feel them fully.
- Challenge your thoughts: During an emotional hijack, our thoughts can be exaggerated or irrational. Practice questioning your thoughts and looking for alternative perspectives. Ask yourself, "Is this thought based on facts or feelings?"
- Develop a toolkit: Create a list of healthy coping strategies that work for you, such as deep breathing, taking a walk, or calling a supportive friend. Having a go-to toolkit can help you navigate intense emotions more effectively.
Conclusion
As Dr. Catella reminds us, "With emotional intelligence, you can actually experience and manage emotional hijacking more effectively and also get to the place where emotional hijacking happens less often." By recognizing the signs, practicing mindfulness, surfing the wave of emotion, challenging our thoughts, and developing a toolkit, we can learn to manage intense emotions more effectively. Remember, developing emotional intelligence is a lifelong journey, and each challenge is an opportunity to grow and strengthen our skills.
To learn more about emotional intelligence and how to develop it, check out my full podcast episode with Stephanie.
