Why Nagging Doesn't Work

In the world of Motivational Interviewing, nagging does not work for a pretty simple reason. It all comes down to who says what. And the well-researched 'fact' is this: what you hear yourself say is the most important thing in predicting motivation for change.

If you say to me "Sky, write that article this morning!" I will probably say back, "Look, it's snowing out. I will do it later." What you say to me counts 1 motivation point. What I hear myself say counts ... drum roll please ... 1000 points. In this short dialog, everything else being equal, "I will do it later" will win. Plus, you have slightly hurt our relationship.

If you said to me "Sky, I see it's snowing and I know how much you love the snow!" I would say, "Yee haw! Let's get our skis!" Now we are on a roll.

And then in the car after a morning of skiing, if you said, "Sky, I know you have that article to write, what excites you about it." And you listened to my ideas with interest, your desire to successfully prompt me to action might be accomplished. I might go from the car to the laptop, and have a nice cup of warm tea with you afterwards

Motivational Interviewing is an evidenced based practice for creating the conditions of behavior change. MI has a ton of research and studies that back up what is a pretty intuitive idea: Change tends to happen when a person connects with their own intrinsic and internal reasons for wanting to make that change.

Motivational Interviewing is a way to have a conversation with someone that brings out these internal desires, reasons, needs, and abilities. The conversations are usually richly rewarding for both that interviewer and the interviewee.

The Rosebud "Motivational Interviewing Journal for Change" is just a little taste of what this conversation can feel like. Got something you are wanting to change, but are feeling stuck? Give it a try! But only if you want :)‍

A Brief History of Motivational Interviewing

Motivational Interviewing was developed in the 1980s by a professor at the University of Albuquerque, Dr. Bill Miller. During that time Bill was leading classes for people who had been arrested for Driving Under the Influence. Bill noticed the classes seemed mostly irrelevant to the participants, and after a number of failures decided there had to be a better way.

So he did something really interesting, he started recording the conversations he was having. Six months later they surveyed the participants to see who is doing well in terms of changing their drinking behaviors, and then they went back and listened to those recordings. What they discovered became the basis of motivational interviewing. ‍

What Motivational Interviewing is‍

Motivational interviewing simply put is a particular kind of conversation with a person about a change they could make in their life. It is characterized by high empathy, and a willingness to enter into the world of the client. It shifts the focus away from the Intervention Model, which would be telling somebody what they should do for their own good, and more towards a client-centered listening and guiding model, which puts the client's reasons and readiness at the forefront.

Motivational interviewing works, as indicated above, because people tend to believe what they hear themselves say, much more than what gets sent to them. The basic approach is to evoke or to invite from the person their thoughts and feelings and confidence about changing. When the person's own desire and ability are high, change is more likely to happen. Things a person says that are essentially arguments for making a change we call "change talk," things a person says that are moving in the other direction we call "sustain talk." the more "change talk" a person uses the more likely the changes to happen.

It turns out that MI is most effective when someone is ambivalent about making a change. Walking them through the different sides of the argument with empathy and neutrality can be really helpful in terms of the person seeing the situation from a new perspective. Being ready to make a change is a combination of feeling that it is important and also having confidence, and so both of these areas are the focus. The more important to change, and the easier it is to do, becomes a winning formula.‍

Research and Applications‍

With over 2400 peer reviewed research studies showing it's effectiveness in hundreds of different situations, MI has well earned it's designation as one of the most proven Evidence Based Practices we have. MI had its origins in the addictions world, particularly around alcohol abuse, and quickly spread to other behavioral health concerns of smoking, drug use, diabetes management, and safe sex.

In the US, since most of the health concerns facing a person are related to their behaviors, MI is frequently found in every area of physical and mental/emotional health, including healthy eating, sleep habits, caffeine use, spending and budgeting, activity level, stress relief, relationship satisfaction and spiritual practice.

MI is now used effectively in conversations about employment, housing, personal and professional goals, time management, creativity release, and sports performance, and is even used for improving family life.

Learning MI‍

Motivational Interviewing is not hard to learn, but it does take some practice to get good at it. The highest certificate level in MI is to be a MINT Certified Trainer. MINT is the Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers, there are around 1600 members and 90 certified trainers world-wide. The official website is https://motivationalinterviewing.org‍

If you are interested in learning more about MI, I offer three free on-line classes and practice groups a week and you would be welcome to come and get a taste of what MI is like in a conversation with a person. More information is at our website, https://www.wv-mi.com/calendar‍

I hope this little introduction to MI has been interesting. And if so, maybe pick an area in your life that you know would be good for you if you made a change, and give the MI Journal for Change a try.